I am aware of both of them.
I embrace both of them right now at this moment.
I have felt and faced my own pain, darkness many times in my life.
Since a child, I have gone through some difficulties and therefore the pattern kept happening in my life while I was growing up.
I had always questioning life and the world, why this kept happening to me but never understood.
Although, at some point I had to release some emotions that I haven't released as a child, I could see that my inner child was hurt, angry and scared. Then I cried with my whole being, I cried and it felt like endless pain/suffering.
Although..it felt really good, I felt that this little corner of darkness with all that pain and suffering finally light got through. Yes, a small crack and that's beautiful.
The little scared, hurt , angry child in me...I embrace you and I love you with all my heart because you are worthy, amazing and wonderful.
Yes the world may have disappointed me many times in my life, but I actually I have disappointed myself, I abandoned myself and now I am not gonna do it anymore because I realize that all what I needed was just love, to give love to myself, to accept myself fully no matter what.
It's okay to cry, to cry as much as you want because that's one of the ways to release your pain, to feel it and accept it.
It's okay to admit that you are not actually okay.
It's okay to be lost.
We are all little lost sometimes anyway but if you listen carefully yourself I am sure you will be able to stand up and find your way because you are always guided .
It's okay to feel any emotion.
It's okay to put yourself first.
To be human, means to be vulnerable so it's okay to feel vulnerable.
I don't know what I am actually saying or if any of it makes sense.
But know that you are loved as people have reminded that to me when I am in pain, when I feel like I am losing myself in pain.
Know that you are loved, you are worthy and wonderful human being.
I am taking little steps everyday in my life to heal and give love to my inner child and no matter how long it might take, it's okay :)
Photography is one of the things I use for healing myself or like express by transforming my pain into something beautiful and I hope you see it too <3
Just felt to write something, without even thinking of what to write I just began to write all this ,
Just a flow of words that came from my heart.
Sending you light towards your way to all of you :)